|Posted by firstname.lastname@example.org on September 21, 2017 at 3:50 PM|
Sometimes I sit and think about how my life use to be. I think about the fun times I had with my friends and even with family. How I went to many places and just enjoyed life. Especially with my children. A lot of those times in my life was when I had the capability to drive.
It seems like what I once had faded away. Was it because of the car accident? Or maybe what I had to face? Maybe because I chose to have brain surgery? I really wasn't sure. I was hospitalized for quite a long time dealing with tests and even my brain surgeries and rehabilitation. So I was away from many things I used to be around and do. During my time in the hospital, I used to wonder, "where are they?" Even after all of that, I had to face a lot of other things. And I still asked and wondered, "where are they?"
During all of this, my doctor and my church suggested that I see a psychiatrist. As I spoke with them, and dealt with testing, I was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). It's a disorder characterized by failure to recover after experiencing or witnessing a terrifying event. Having anxiety and flashbacks from the accident and feeling alone was quite a hard time and battle I was dealing with. I asked a lot, "why am I alone?" But my dad and mom said to me, "You are not alone."
I've realized that God determines who walks into your life. You decide who stays and who walks out. When I changed, my surroundings changed too. You could feel like you have love and support but all of a sudden it disappears. That was one of the reasons I suffered depression. But, I really do appreciate those that stood with me through all of the trials and tribulations that I went through and even some things that I still face today.
When I was getting my business ideas together, someone told me that the majority of your supporters will be strangers. And I really do see that. But I've realized that nothing should stop you from living your life with a purpose.
When you make a change, majority of everything in your life will change too. I don't want people to look at me as if I'm this bad person because of the accident or because I came out to many about my life with epilepsy. Or me having the Almighty as head of my life. Yes, I've changed! And It's for the better. God has forgiven me and now I must follow the journey he has for me.
I'm speaking out about my experiences and life challenges that I still face today. I feel that if I tell my story, it could possibly help and encourage someone out there. There will be battles that we all will face in our lifetime. I just want to let many know that we're here for a reason.
I'm a mother, a survivor, an advocate, a speaker, and a mentor. I feel fine with my life now and I will no longer complain because this is what I was given. And at the age of 40 now, I'M LEARNING LIFE...
Natalie Y. Beavers