Handicap or Disabled by Bryan Carson

As an adult, I had always been aware of epilepsy. Though I knew it was a neurological disorder, I had always believed it was something experienced only by children. I also had a limited understanding of what it meant to have a disability. I thought someone was disabled if they lived with a physical impairment that slowed them down. Others labeled as handicapped, I believed, might have an intellectual disability or be unable to move around without the assistance of a wheelchair.

Despite those misconceptions, having a neurological disorder had never seemed like a threat to me. Now, after living with epilepsy for 17 years and experiencing its daily challenges, epilepsy has become a normal part of my life.

Anyone can have a seizure. When seizures refuse to leave you alone and continue occurring, however, they can become part of a diagnosis of epilepsy.

Epilepsy is a chronic neurological disorder of the brain that causes a person to experience recurrent, unprovoked seizures.

All of us have daily responsibilities and routines. Family support and friendships provide some of the encouragement we need to keep moving forward. There are many ways to live life, but once epilepsy becomes part of your life, you have to consider how you will adapt.

My workday once began by getting into a car, learning which accounts needed to be visited, and racing around a large metropolitan city every day. I searched for parallel parking or parked in overpriced garages, then ran in and out of office buildings attempting to resolve electronic problems.

Although it may sound chaotic, it was a pleasure to me!

Coming back to awareness after having my first grand mal seizure was like waking up after a night of drinking whiskey. I had no expectation that my brain was about to shut down or that my body was about to collapse. Living with the possibility that it could happen again was extremely uncomfortable.

Despite this, I still didn’t consider myself disabled or handicapped. I could still walk, talk, and think for myself.

But my life had changed.

Since then, I have been rushed to city hospitals in emergency ambulances. I have fallen downstairs and suffered serious injuries to my ribs. My life began to include experiences I had never imagined.

Depression and sadness became part of those changes. There were even moments when thoughts of suicide crossed my mind, but I never considered suicide to be the solution.

It took years for my loved ones to convince me of how serious some of these risks were. Commuting into the city alone, for example, could put both me and others in danger if I experienced a seizure while driving. I could be involved in a car accident or even fatally injure a pedestrian.

While constantly facing these possibilities, I reminded myself that things could always be worse.

Despite these interruptions to my health and my life, everything had not come to an end.

I relied on the emotional strength I had always carried within me. Keeping my head up and remaining confident became essential. Positive living has always been one of my strengths, and I have no intention of giving up.

Neither should you.

Epilepsy is just a pothole in the road that we have to learn how to navigate.

Anyone living with epilepsy still has the power to pursue the goals they have always desired. No one should allow a neurological disorder to bring their entire life to a halt.

I have never allowed epilepsy to define everything that I am. I am still a person with abilities, dreams, goals, and a future.

Powerful support groups such as Angels of Epilepsy can be allies along the journey, providing encouragement and helping people find the strength to continue pushing forward.

Despite the unexpected directions I have been forced to walk in, I still have a mind that allows me to imagine what is possible. I still have the ability to set goals, work toward them, and experience the satisfaction of succeeding.

Epilepsy may have changed the road I travel, but it has not taken away my ability to keep traveling.

Stay Strong.

Angels of Epilepsy